Well, take it or not?

-Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

-If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done. –Unknown

-I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
--Douglas Adams

-A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

-Why is that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment but when
you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

-Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

-If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

-I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

-I am in shape. Round is a shape.

-A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

-Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

-I hope life isn't a big joke -- because I don't get it.

-I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
--Totie Fields

-Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".

-Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

-I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

-I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

-When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches,
but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear
to find out if it stopped.--Marcel Achard

-I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my lucks,
and dodging deadlines.

-When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

-I never did a day's work in my life, it was all fun - Thomas Alva Edison

-Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards